What If The Mayans Are Right?

What if the Mayans are right? What if we have two months to live? What if they are wrong and after Dec 21st life goes on? The real question here is why does it matter? Why aren't we living every single moment like it's our last. If the Mayans are right and I had two months to live, these are things I would do the same, do differently, and just do.

I would still incorporate Yoga into every day. I would still show compassion to everyone I meet. I would continue driving the speed limit. I would still cook every night. Buttercream frosted candles would still be burning in my bedroom. I would continue to watch Revenge and see if Emily finally reveals her identity. I would still watch Modern Family once on Wednesday nights and again on Thursday mornings. I would continue to paint my nails a different color every day. I would continue with my nightly skin routine and continue waking up smiling and positive excited about each new day.

I would drop out of college. I would live life.

I would call everyone I had a falling out with, best friends from high school, boys I may have messed with their heads, anyone I had unkind thoughts about I would like one more conversation to either justify my thoughts or rectify them. I would try pot just once, yes I have never done any kind of drug. I would fly to Europe and kiss a gorgeous brit in a "pub." I would buy 25 random strangers anonymous gifts. I would read Markus Zusak's The Book Thief all over again. I would learn to snowboard. I would skydive.

I would go to India.

I would do Yoga and indulge in Indian cuisine. I would eat without counting calories or looking at health labels. I would get a labrador and name him Teddy and spend a full day at the beach with him. I would teach Yoga to troubled youth so they can live their last two months with self love. I would treat my parents to an amazing meal. I would stalk Michael Buble and make him meet his adoring fan, Granny.  I would marry my little cousin off to her crush Nathan Sykes. I would write a letter to my parents and thank them for being so kind and wonderful and fun with me.

I would sense things differently.

I would spend a whole day with my eyes closed and live life with my other senses. I would write every day in a journal. I would anonymously leave roses on peoples cars with a note saying "stop and smell the roses." I would dye my hair tips hot pink and buy a bold shade of red lipstick. I would purchase the Urban Decay Naked 2 pallet and eat gummy bears for a week straight. I would swim with dolphins and mimic their smiles. I would get "namaste" tattooed on my wrist.

I will live.

I am going to start doing these things now, perhaps I wont drop out of school, since I graduate in December. Perhaps I wont fly right away to India or stalk Michael Buble. But there are simple things that I will do differently. I will get my golden lab and name him Teddy. I will teach Yoga to troubled youth. I will not get a tattoo but I will live everyday as if Namaste was tattooed all over my body. I want to drink life. I want to drink it like really expensive hazelnut milk that expires soon. I will be fully nourished by life so that if by some crazy chance, the Mayans were right, when December 21st rolls around, I will say to myself: "I lived, I really lived."

What Makes A Home?

This is my most personal blog that I have written. I was born a writer and the only way to take emotional strain away is to see my words on a page arranged in the order my heart feels them. I'm sentimental and homeless. Im not homeless in the sense that I live on the streets and accept peaches and water from strangers, I'm homeless in that I don't have a "home."

I moved from South Africa to Las Vegas and then Reno then my parents moved from Las Vegas to California. I'm fragmented from my childhood in South Africa, my teenage years in Las Vegas, and when I move to Southern California, I will be a ten hour drive from my college years.

I am moving to a new house and with the move comes giant changes. With the move comes the end of summer.. which means my best friend moving back to her home and the start of my last semester. It also means I have only six months left in Reno.

I hate Reno. I do. I really really do. It's not my favorite place however I have spent four years of my life in this place. It was last Friday and I was sitting with a close friend at a table on the patio of one of my favorite Reno gem's, Silver Peak, eating a delicious sandwich, when i thought "I will miss this." Reno has grown on me but more and it terrifies me thinking of moving again.

I have been moving all my life since I emigrated and it certainly feels like i have no home. I also think this is where most of my commitment issues come from. When you move around so much you tend to stay away from forming romantic bonds. It scares me because in my heart I know I will probably keep moving. I think a small part of me longs to be a nomad and travel from place to place seeking new adventures and fascinating encounters. The other part of me craves stability and routine.

I love Southern California but its not home. So maybe some people are really really lucky and get to call the house and city they grew up in "home" but for the rest of us, maybe our home is people. You see buildings, parking lots, houses and coffee shops can all be built in every place and in every country, but maybe its the people that fill them that makes each building, parking lot, house, and coffee shop feel like "home."

So maybe we have multiple homes and sometimes those homes move or you move away from them.. then what do we do? I guess we try to keep them as close to our heart as possible and feel comfort that with good technology and the gift of flight.. you can go home again.

My room is empty, my dream catcher is boxed, my marilyn posters on the floor and my painting of Paris pressed up against my empty dresser and as glad as I am to leave this really gross college apartment, I almost feel like I'm saying goodbye to two years.

I guess I will see what the next six months bring me in the biggest little city. How much useless stuff I will accumulate, how many "one too many drinks"nights I will have, and how many tears I will shed when I move once again.

Life is journey and maybe some of us find our home and stay there, and maybe for the rest of us, we have lots of little homes along the way.

Most people say home is where the heart is, but I say the heart is where home is. because in our hearts we keep all the little homes and loved ones we've accumulated along our journey and in our hearts, we carry all those homes and special people with us all the time.

JG

Blessed & Blissful

Today, I feel like sharing my personal emotions and thoughts.

I feel blissful and content. I have the greatest friends any person could ask for. I have a cousin to talk flowers and fashion with and I have had two of my best friends in my life for four years. One of my best friends in my life for two, the other for three, and my "big bro",who just graduated college, in my life for eight. I'm still best friends with my high school boyfriend and we talk frequently and want the best for each other. I recently met a wonderful friend whose agreed to help me move out of the kindness of her heart, I have parents who help me out a tremendous amount financially with school and am moving to a beautiful gingerbread looking house July 1st with wonderful roommates, I have the most amazing PR internship with a national organization & lastly I get to move to Southern California in December.

I feel so incredibly thankful. I don't know that I believe in God but I do believe I am blessed by something to have been given such an awesome wonderful life.

All I need is prince charming but I believe that will happen too eventually :)

I hope everyone gets to live in pure bliss like I do. Sure some days I have anxiety, or my car gets towed, or really bad things happen, but for the most part I consider myself incredibly lucky to get to live this awesome life.

I'm off to enjoy this sunshine!

Happiness & gratitude

On My Way To Namaste..

I have been an avid yogi since age ten. The feeling of holding that pose just ten seconds longer than the day before, the feeling of your mind and body so connected with each other that nothing else matters, the feeling of complete peace. When I am on my teal and baby blue mat, I am in my own world, a world which has only one inhabitant-me. I wrote a column for my University's paper about the different components of yoga: Yogalosophy.

Last semester I was unbelievably busy, being president of a club and being stuck in some hard classes and other side projects. I deluded myself into thinking I did not have time, an hour and fifteen minutes, to devote to yoga everyday and dropped it. I attempted to do yoga in my bedroom but my room is riddled with electronics so that didn't quite work.

Today I decided- I need a change. So I bought $55 worth of change- an unlimited yoga pass at The Studio in Reno. It was the best purchase I have made in a while. Although my bank account might not be feeling the zen, I already am.

I think the lesson here is, we may get busy but we need to take care of ourselves and take that extra time to nourish our bodies and our minds with good positive energy and exercise.

So while I may feel like I'm too busy with school or internships, or jobs, I will devote the hour and fifteen minutes to myself daily, because after all theres still 22.85 hours left in the day for work, school, internships and whatever other craziness I might get myself into!

Take Time For Positivity

People seem to have all the time in the world to complain and wish for a better situation, a better boyfriend, a better life. I'm guilty of this too at times. Sometimes it seems like negativity is all around us and its easier to fall in to it then to ignore it. 

For example, we tend to thrive on other's failures. It’s common to hear someone starting a conversation with "Did you hear X got fired and apparently things aren't good with her and her boyfriend." It’s a rarity to hear "Wow X got this amazing promotion and things are going to great for her its just awesome. It's much easier to be a friend to someone in times of failure than in times of success.

I’ve been accused of being "annoyingly upbeat" "unrealistic" "too positive" I’ve even been called "Tinkerbelle." The way I see it, the way you feel about someone else's success will not change your success. You can spend an hour thinking about how horrible life is or how lucky other people are OR you can spend an hour counting all of the good things you have going for you. You can be thankful for the lack of ailments you have compared to others.

 

 It doesn't matter if the glass is half full, half empty, cracked, ugly.... It matters who the owner of the glass is and what he or she does with it.

Sometimes in life we get dealt an awful hand. We cannot exchange those cards; we can simply develop a strategy to play them to our advantage. But if you got someone else's hand, you may decide your hand isn't so bad after all.

Anne Frank said it best "I don't think of the misery, but of the beauty that still remains." 

Life is wonderful. It’s unpredictable, unfair, awesome, and challenging, it’s the greatest adventure we get to go on. In a materialistic world, we lose sight of all the amazing things in our life. This morning I woke up and, being blind as a bat, griped about not being able to see right away. Then I remembered I have two working legs to walk to the bathroom where my contacts, that I was able to buy, were situated.  Sometimes we complain about getting dressed in the morning, while some less fortunate people cannot get dressed on their own and have to wait for daily assistance with there dressing.

Lastly, today I thought "Gee it's really unfair that my grandmother has to be alone on Mothers Day," until I remembered that she had my late grandpa with her for fifty years and some people can't even say they have had someone with them for five.

Life is good, enjoy walking in your shoes, and when you wish for someone else's shoes, remember they may be less comfortable. 

Swim

Today I felt like listening to a band I used to listen to in high school-Jack’s Mannequin and came across the song “Swim.”

I found a tidal wave

Begging to tear down the dawn

Memories like bullets

They fired at me from a gun

A crack in the armor

I swim to brighter days

Despite the absence of sun

Choking on salt water

I'm not giving in

I swim

I’ve been nostalgic and a little weepy lately, thinking back to the times when my grandfather was alive. He inspired me so much every day with his kindness and was so proud of everything I did, it didn’t matter what it was-I was his superstar. Every night I would talk to him and he would tell me how one day he will see me on CNN, I don’t think he understood what a public relations person does even though I would attempt to explain it over and over again.

I think its pretty clear I'm not a natural blonde but I did get his big blue eyes!

He passed away in November and since then despite his passing, so many amazing things have happened to me: fantastic internship, scholarships, good grades… there’s so much I want to tell him but can’t.

Anyways when I heard this song it inspired me maybe not to swim, but to GO! I am going to keep going for all my dreams and know that he is with me watching over me, probably shaking his head at my ridiculous caffeine consumption.

Sometimes we all have those days where we miss how things used to be, or we wish things were different, but we must swim because life is good. Life is an amazing journey and sometimes we may not like the pit stops, but we must remember it’s not the end of the race and only WE get to decide the attitude we have at these pit stops and when we reach the end!